In a recent post I linked you to another blogger’s post about niches. If any of you read his post, you might have noticed a link he shared to Helen Jane’s post about knowing and doing what you want, which I highly recommend. She talks about how you won’t get what you want unless you know what you want and how she works on figuring out what she wants. I really like her idea of writing lists because it leaves room for more then one “want” and for expanding or evolving things over time. Because, let’s face it, most of use have several goals/wants (several categories, even) and we change over time: our priorities change, we may discover that we don’t enjoy something that’s closely linked to something we thought we wanted, we learn new things, we learn about options, or we simply lose interest.
I make lists all the time, especially for things like decor ideas or new craft/quilting projects I might want to try, and those lists are edited, updated, axed, revived, and left to stagnate for months on end. It’s amazing how things change, even just in a few days. It’s also amazing how interesting it can be to review old lists (even old “to do” lists) to see what priorities I had in the past or what ideas I’d forgotten about. I also love lists because they help me consider all the options and think about what to do, intead of just jumping in head first (sometimes you just need to make a decision, but other times it’s very helpful and beneficial to brood over something for a while).
I don’t know why I never thought to apply my love of lists to what I want in life. Sure, you read about writing your goals all the time, but I often find that when people talk about goals, they talk as if you have to pick one and stick to it. I like room to change over time. I also feel like goals are often based on “shoulds” (like weight loss or spending less), but this is about what you want in life, not what you should want in life. As Hellen Jane notes:
Guilt has no place in these lists.
This is your wanting.
This is really important, especially if you are veering from the norm or have judgemental friends or family.
She challenged readers to take 15 minutes and write down what you really want. I won’t share my whole list, because it’s private and I don’t want to feel like I need to take action on any of the things on my list, but here are a few highlights:
I want: a smaller apartment; to add a little decorating savvy to my apartment instead of just having whatever because I already have it; to save up for a condo; to live closer to my friends and family; to continue to learn and enjoy quilting; and maybe to find an in-person or online community that is relevant to me, flexible and full of great people.
What do you want?